Backbiting and slandering

Bismillaah

Allaah, subhanaho wata’ala, says:

ذَٲلِكَ ٱلۡڪِتَـٰبُ لَا رَيۡبَۛ فِيهِۛ هُدً۬ى لِّلۡمُتَّقِينَ

This is the Book (the Qur'ân), whereof there is no doubt, a guidance to those who are Al-Muttaqûn [the pious and righteous persons who fear Allâh much (abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds which He has forbidden) and love Allâh much (perform all kinds of good deeds which He has ordained)]. (Al-Baqarah 2:2)

One of the characteristics of a righteous behaviour is good speech. A person who stays mindful of Allaah, subhanaho wata’alaa, will want to refrain from sins of the tongue such as backbiting, slander, gossip, lying, swearing, cursing and vain talk. The Qur'aan and hadeeth warn against these sins of the tongue. Guarding one's speech is so important that Muslims will be held accountable for everything they say:

مَّا يَلۡفِظُ مِن قَوۡلٍ إِلَّا لَدَيۡهِ رَقِيبٌ عَتِيدٌ۬

“Not a word does he (or she) utter but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it)” (Al-Qaf 50:18).

In soorah al-Hudjuraat, He says:
يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لَا يَسۡخَرۡ قَوۡمٌ۬ مِّن قَوۡمٍ عَسَىٰٓ أَن يَكُونُواْ خَيۡرً۬ا مِّنۡہُمۡ وَلَا نِسَآءٌ۬ مِّن نِّسَآءٍ عَسَىٰٓ أَن يَكُنَّ خَيۡرً۬ا مِّنۡہُنَّۖ وَلَا تَلۡمِزُوٓاْ أَنفُسَكُمۡ وَلَا تَنَابَزُواْ بِٱلۡأَلۡقَـٰبِۖ بِئۡسَ ٱلِٱسۡمُ ٱلۡفُسُوقُ بَعۡدَ ٱلۡإِيمَـٰنِۚ وَمَن لَّمۡ يَتُبۡ فَأُوْلَـٰٓٮِٕكَ هُمُ ٱلظَّـٰلِمُونَ


O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former; Nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former, Nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one's brother after having Faith [i.e. to call your Muslim brother (a faithful believer) as: "O sinner", or "O wicked"]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zâlimûn (wrong-doers).

يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱجۡتَنِبُواْ كَثِيرً۬ا مِّنَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعۡضَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِثۡمٌ۬ۖ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُواْ وَلَا يَغۡتَب بَّعۡضُكُم بَعۡضًاۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُڪُمۡ أَن يَأۡڪُلَ لَحۡمَ أَخِيهِ مَيۡتً۬ا فَكَرِهۡتُمُوهُۚ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ تَوَّابٌ۬ رَّحِيمٌ۬



O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting)[] . And fear Allâh. Verily, Allâh is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful. (49: 12)



Sneering and defamation of people is condemnable and accursed behavior. Allaah subhanaho wata’ala says in soorah al-Humazah:

وَيۡلٌ۬ لِّڪُلِّ هُمَزَةٍ۬ لُّمَزَةٍ

Woe to every slanderer and backbiter. (104:1)


Unfortunately backbiting and slander is so widespread these days that it has become the topic of people’s meetings and an way for us to express our anger, misgivings and jealousy. Those who indulge in backbiting are oblivious of the fact that they are only harming themselves. This is because of the fact that on the Day of Resurrection both the wrongdoer and the wronged will stand before Allaah, Who is the Just Judge, and then Allaah, subhanaho wata’ala, will give this wronged person from the good deeds of the person who wronged him in accordance with his wrong by backbiting.

So how do we know what is backbiting, gossiping and slandering? Prophet Muhammad, aleyhi salato wasalaam, said :"Do you know what backbiting is?" They said, "Allaah and His Messenger know best." He then said, "It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike." Someone asked him, "But what if what I say is true?" The Messenger of Allaah, sallalaho aleyhi wasallam, said, "If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him." (Muslim)

Al-Nawawî comments this hadeeth in his al-Adhkâr: “Mentioning about your brother something that he would dislike includes what concerns his body, his religious practice, his worldly station, his physical appearance, his moral character, his wealth, his parents, his children, his spouse, his servant, his clothing, his activities, his smiles and frowns and anything else that pertains to him. It does not matter if you mention it explicitly by word or implicitly by indication or a gesture…”

Al-Hasan al-Basrî said: “Backbiting has three manifestations, all of which are discussed in Allah’s Book. They are: backbiting, tale-telling, and slander. As for backbiting, it is to say about your brother something that is true about him. Tale-telling is to say something that you have heard about him. Slander is to say about him what is not true.”

For example there is a hadeeth where Aishah relates that she said to the Prophet (peace be upon him): “It should tell you enough about Safiyyah that she is short.” To this he replied: “You have said a word that if it was to be mixed with the water of the sea, it would contaminate it.” [Sunan al-Tirmidhî (2502) and Sunan Abî Dâwûd (4875)]

Al-Mubârakfûrî, in his commentary on this hadîth, writes: “It means that backbiting, if it were something that could be mixed with the water of the sea, it would noticeably contaminate it in spite of the vast and copious amount of water that the sea contains. How then is it going to be when it is mixed with our paltry good deeds?

Islam states that our relationship with mankind should be one of sincerity and responsibility. It should be one where we have respect for the honour, reputation and privacy of others. This beautiful religion teaches us that we are not only held accountable for our own attitudes and actions but also for anything else over which we have control or influence over, in our society or the world around us.

Those who worship Allaah,subhanaho wata’ala, should care for each other in every way; the Muslim community should sustain best moral values of the faith: Mercy, compassion, fear of Allaah, piety, and justice.

Allah ordered Muslims to defend, help and stand by each other,

مُّحَمَّدٌ۬ رَّسُولُ ٱللَّهِۚ وَٱلَّذِينَ مَعَهُ ۥۤ أَشِدَّآءُ عَلَى ٱلۡكُفَّارِ رُحَمَآءُ بَيۡنَہُمۡۖ تَرَٮٰهُمۡ رُكَّعً۬ا سُجَّدً۬ا يَبۡتَغُونَ فَضۡلاً۬ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ وَرِضۡوَٲنً۬اۖ سِيمَاهُمۡ فِى وُجُوهِهِم مِّنۡ أَثَرِ ٱلسُّجُودِۚ ذَٲلِكَ مَثَلُهُمۡ فِى ٱلتَّوۡرَٮٰةِۚ وَمَثَلُهُمۡ فِى ٱلۡإِنجِيلِ كَزَرۡعٍ أَخۡرَجَ شَطۡـَٔهُ ۥ فَـَٔازَرَهُ ۥ فَٱسۡتَغۡلَظَ فَٱسۡتَوَىٰ عَلَىٰ سُوقِهِۦ يُعۡجِبُ ٱلزُّرَّاعَ لِيَغِيظَ بِہِمُ ٱلۡكُفَّارَۗ وَعَدَ ٱللَّهُ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ وَعَمِلُواْ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ مِنۡہُم مَّغۡفِرَةً۬ وَأَجۡرًا عَظِيمَۢا

Muhammad (SAW) is the Messenger of Allâh, And those who are with him are severe against disbelievers, and merciful among themselves. You see them bowing and falling down prostrate (in prayer), seeking Bounty from Allâh and (His) Good Pleasure. The mark of them (i.e. of their Faith) is on their faces (foreheads) from the traces of prostration (during prayers). This is their description in the Taurât (Torah). But their description in the Injeel (Gospel) is like a (sown) seed which sends forth its shoot, then makes it strong, and becomes thick, and it stands straight on its stem, delighting the sowers that He may enrage the disbelievers with them. Allâh has promised those among them who believe (i.e. all those who follow Islâmic Monotheism, the religion of Prophet Muhammad SAW till the Day of Resurrection) and do righteous good deeds, forgiveness and a mighty reward (i.e. Paradise). (Al-Fath 48:29)

A Muslim is required to defend his brother when someone talks about him behind his back. In Islam, Muslims should not do injustice to others nor do they tolerate any injustice to themselves. In their love and concern for each other, all Muslims are like one body, as Prophet Muhammad, aleyhi salato wasalaam, said:

“when any part of the body suffers, the whole body feels the pain”.(Sahih Muslim)

Allaah has promised for the one who defends his absent brother with a great reward and promised to protect him from the fire.

Abu Ad-Darda narrated that Prophet, aleyhi salato wasalaam, said:

"The one who rebuts another from backbiting has protected himself from the fire."

Defending (Rebutting) backbiting is a characteristic of a believer. Allaah says in the holy Qur’an:
وَإِذَا سَمِعُواْ ٱللَّغۡوَ أَعۡرَضُواْ عَنۡهُ وَقَالُواْ لَنَآ أَعۡمَـٰلُنَا وَلَكُمۡ أَعۡمَـٰلُكُمۡ سَلَـٰمٌ عَلَيۡكُمۡ لَا نَبۡتَغِى ٱلۡجَـٰهِلِينَ
And when they hear Al-Laghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk), they withdraw from it and say: "To us our deeds, and to you your deeds. Peace be to you. We seek not the ignorant. (28:55)

Also, Prophet, aleyhi salato wasalaam, advised Muslims to love each other, he said:

"...no one believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself."(Muslim)

Islam teaches us that if people are being ridiculed or backbitten in our presence, we should defend their honour. If we neglect this, we shall deprive ourselves of ever needed help and mercy from God. The Messenger of Allaah, aleyhi salato wasalaam, said:

“If a man's Muslim brother is slandered in your presence, and you are capable of defending him and you do so, God will defend you in this world and in the next. But if he fails to defend him, God will destroy him in this world and the next.”(Baghawi).

Yet, knowing all this, how important it is to have goodspeech, to avoid backbiting and slandering, and what great reward there is to defend ones brother or sister that is “a victim” of this, yet we do it. To be even more convinced about the importance of staying away from this bad behaviour we can look at some ahadeeth. The Prophet, aleyhi salato wasalaam, has said: “A man might speak a word without thinking about its implications, but because of it, he will plunge into the Hellfire further than the distance between the east and west.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (6477) and Sahîh Muslim (2988)]

So we say things, utter words, whereby we describes our brothers or sisters in a negative way – either explicitly or implicitly – and this may throw us into clear and evident loss. And what could be a greater loss than for us than to say something that does nothing for us but to rob us of our blessings and of the rewards for our good deeds?

Once Mu`âdh ibn Jabal asked the Prophet, aleyhi salato wasalaam, to inform him of some good work that would admit him into Paradise and distance him from the Hellfire. The Prophet aleyhi salato wasalaam mentioned to him the virtues of many good deeds, then said: “Shall I inform you of the foundation of all of that?” Mu`âdh said: “Certainly.” The Prophet aleyhi salato wasalaam took hold of his own tongue and said: “Restrain yourself from this.” Mu`âdh then asked: “O Prophet of Allah! Are we held to task for the things that we say?” The Prophet aleyhi salato wasalaam replied: “May your mother be bereaved of you, O Mu`âdh! Does anything topple people headlong into the Hellfire save the harvests of their tongues?” [Sunan al-Tirmidhî (2616) and Sunan Ibn Mâjah (3973)]

The Prophet aleyhi salato wasalaam said: “Whoever can guarantee to me what is between his two lips and what is between his two legs, I can guarantee for him Paradise.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (6474)] The Prophet (peace be upon him), when he said “what is between his two lips” was alluding to the words that a person speaks. To guarantee it means to only speak what Allah is pleased with. When he said “and what is between his legs” he was alluding to sexual relations, meaning that the person guarantees that he will not engage in any unlawful sexual activity that is prohibited by Allah.

How to rid ourselves of this ignoble trait

1. We can protect ourselves from speaking ill of others by cultivating our fear of Allah and our sense of shame before of our Lord. This can be achieved by reflecting often upon the verses of the Qur’ân and the hadîth of our Prophet (peace be upon him) that speak about Allah’s punishment, that encourage us to repent, and that warn us against evil deeds.

Allah says: “Or do they think that We do not hear their secrets and their private counsels? Indeed we do and our messengers are by them to record.” [Sûrah al-Zukhruf: 80]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Feel shame before Allah as you ought to feel shame before him. So guard the head and what it contains, guard the stomach and what you put in it, and think upon death and returning to dust.” [Sunan al-Tirmidhî (2458)]

2. We can reflect upon just how much we lose every time we utter some bad words about another person.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) once asked his Companions: “Do you know who is bankrupt?”

They replied: “The person among us who is bankrupt is the one who possesses neither money nor provision.”

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The one who is bankrupt from among my followers is he who comes on the Day of Resurrection with prayer, charity, and fasting to his credit. However, he had insulted this person, struck that person, and seized the wealth of another, on account of which his good deeds will be taken from him. Then, if his good deeds are exhausted, the sins of those whom he wronged will be taken from them and foisted upon him and then he will be cast into the Fire.” [Sahîh Muslim (2581)]

3. A beneficial remedy that can help us to rid ourselves of this evil habit is to reflect upon our own shortcomings and work to improve ourselves. If we preoccupy ourselves with our own faults, we will not find time to worry about the faults of others. We should fear that if we speak about someone else’s shortcomings, that Allah might punish us by afflicting us with the same.

Al-Hasan al-Basrî said: “We used to remind one another that whoever faults his brother on account of a sin and he had repented for it will be punished by Allah by falling into it himself.”

Abû Hurayrah said: “One of you sees the dust in his brother’s eye but fails to see the crud in his own.”

4. Keeping to the company of righteous people and avoiding bad company helps us to avoid backbiting.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The likeness of a good companion and a bad companion is that of a person carrying musk and another who works the bellows. The person carrying musk might give you some of it or at the very least you will enjoy the pleasant scent. The person with the bellows will either singe your clothing or at least make you suffer from the bad smell.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (2101) and Sahîh Muslim (2628) and the wording is that of Muslim]

Al-Nawawî writes, commenting on this hadîth: “It discusses the virtues of keeping the company of the righteous and people who carry out good works and possess good manners… It prohibits us from the company of people who engage in bad deeds and innovations, those who backbite others, and those who are habitually sinful and idle.”

5. A person who has a habit of backbiting others needs to make a firm and determined resolution to stop.

We can look at the example of Rasûl b. Wahb who said: “I swore an oath that for every time I backbite someone, I would fast a day. This just wore me out, since I would backbite and fast. Then I resolved that for every time I backbite someone, I would spend one silver coin in charity. Then, for the love of money, I gave up backbiting.”

When is it allowed?

Firstly, a person who was unjustly treated. He can go to who is in position to remove the unjustness, like a judge or leader, and talk about how the other person took away his rights. Because the people cannot preserve their rights except this way. This is not backbiting because Allah (S.W.T.) said in surat An-Nisa’ (Verse 148), what can be translated as, "Allah does not like that the evil should be uttered in public except by him to whom injustice has been done." Also reported by Imam Bukhari that the prophet (S.A.W.) said, "Not paying a loan back, when able to do so, allows a person, the loaner to mention it publicly, and the lender be punished." The point here, then, is that complaining to whom is in position to remove the unjustness, is not considered backbiting.

Secondly, asking for fatwah, (an Islamic legal opinion) from a person with knowledge. In such a request, he might mention things that happened between him and somebody else. Some of the things might not be good. But, Islam allows you to mention them as long as your intention is to know the hukum, (legal Islamic ruling) in those matters. The proof comes in the following of the prophets tradition, reported by Imams Bukhari and Muslim that Hind, the wife of Abu-Sofian said to the prophet, "Abo-Sofian is a stingy man, and he does not spend enough money on me and my child; except if I take from his money without his knowledge. The prophet (S.A.W.) told her, "Take what is enough for you and your child, with fairness." In this narration, Hind mentioned Abu-Sofian, her husband, in a bad manner as a stingy man, yet prophet (S.A.W.) allowed it.

Thirdly, advising the Muslims about what is good for them in their daily life. For example, if somebody asks you about a man or women whom he intends to marry or is a partner in business. You are required to tell what you know about him in terms of his suitability for what you are asked about. The proof comes from the prophet’s tradition reported by the group of hadith collectors except for Imam Bukhari, that Fatemah, daughter of Ques came to the prophet (S.A.W.) and said, "Abo-Jahm and Moa’weyah both proposed to marry me who should I accept?" The prophet (S.A.W.) replied that, "Moa’weah is a poor man, and Abo-Jahm beats his woman." In this tradition, the prophet mentioned something that the two men hated to be mentioned; yet he said it because he was trusted for an advice.

Fourthly, warning Muslims and raising up their awareness of the enemies of Islam, especially if the enemies are from inside, such as they might be Muslims but they work, think, and plan against Islam. The proof comes from the prophet’s tradition, reported by Imams Bukhari and Muslim, that a man asked for permission to enter to see the prophet (S.A.W.). The prophet (S.A.W.) said, "Let him come in. What evil, he is." (That person was a Muslim, but he’s not a good person). The prophet (S.A.W.) said so, to warn the Muslims around him from that man. Imam Bukhari also reported that the prophet (S.A.W.) said about two persons mentioning their names, "I do not think that those two persons know anything about our dean". He means that they are hypocrites, who show Islam, yet hide their unbelief. Imams Bukhari and Muslim also reported that Zaid Ibn-Arqam said that they were traveling with the prophet (S.A.W.) and there was a hardship on everybody. Abdullah-Ibn-Obai’, a well known hypocrite, said, "Don’t spend money on the companions until they leave the prophet (S.A.W.); When we reach Madinah we will kick the prophet (S.A.W.) out of Madinah. Zaid told the prophet (S.A.W.) about what was said. The prophet (S.A.W.) asked him about his sayings, but he swears that he did not say any such thing. Zaid was sad until Allah (S.W.T.) revealed, through, some, which proved that Zaid said the truth. In this tradition Zaid told the prophet (S.A.W.), what that hypocrite said, and the prophet (S.A.W.), agreed to what he said. The point then, is we are allowed to tell about the enemies of Islam.

The Fifth and the last case in which Muslims are allowed to talk about others, without considering it as backbiting, is when you identify someone as the blind, deaf, mute, and handicapped person. The objective is not to put him down, but only to identify him as he is known. However, if we can avoid mentioning his handicap, and finding other ways to identify him, such as his name, then this would be better.

Let’s be careful and watch our tongues from any backbiting. Tongues are one of the main reasons that make many people to enter the Hell Fire. Let’s stick to these exemptions we had mentioned, and not to extrapolate other.