How You deal with Others is how You will be dealt with

How You deal with Others is how You will be dealt with
A wise man said to his son,
" My son, do not become resentful when yo are afflicted with trials, for indeed that is tantamount to having bad thoughts about one's Lord,
and also, it gives pleasure to one's enemy. Do not mock others, for indeed by Allah, every time I ever mocked anyone, I was afflicted in the
same way as the person who I mocked. In this world, man is a target of arrows that come to him successively: some pass him by, some fall short, some fall to his right and others to his left, and some strike him. Know that for every deed, you are rewarded, and how you deal with others is how you will be dealt with. And whoever is dutiful to his parents, his children will be dutiful to him. Avoid greed and ambition, for both represent poverty in the present. Fear Allah as much as you are able. And if you are able to make today better than yesterday and tomorrow better than today and your secrets better than your outward deeds, then do so. Beware of deeds that you have to apologize for, for one never has to apologize for goodness. When you stand for prayer, perform the prayer of one who is saying farewell , as if you feel that you will never afterwards pray again (I.e., that you will die ). Adhere to modesty, and you will be it's people.
Do not afflict harm upon others ; rather give them good, and forgive if you are able to. Do not be miserly if you are asked for something and do not tarry when one seeks help from you. Whoever is stingy, then Allah will make things narrow for him; and whoever gives, then Allah will give him a replacement for what he gave."

Taken from "Don't be Sad" by Aid Al Qarni

The Salaf On Being Overweight

The Salaf On Being Overweight 

Observe & Take Heed O Muslims! 

• Having a big stomach: you're disabled:

Ibn Rajab: "Some scholars said: If you have a big stomach, you should consider yourself disabled until you become slim." (al-Jami', p. 519)

• Criticized for his big stomach just as he is done for his sins:

Salamah bin Sa'id: "A person is criticized for his big stomach just as he is criticized for his sins." (al-Jami', p. 519)

• Eat less!

Abu 'Imran al-Juni: "The one who wants to have an enlightened heart should eat a little." (al-Jami', p. 519)

Sufyan ath-Thawri: "If you want to feel well and sleep a little, you should eat little." (al-Jami', p. 520)

It is better to advise your friend than to severe relations with him

Abu Ad-Dardaa:

“It is better to advise your friend than to severe relations with him, for no one can take the place of your friend if you lose him. Be generous and lenient with your friend, and do not allow an envious person to come between you and him, for in this case, your friend might die tomorrow and you grieve for him. However, how could you grieve after he dies, when you have shunned him when he was still alive?”

(Sifaat us-Safwah, 1/364)

Being harmed by close relatives is more painful

An Arab poet said: Being harmed by close relatives is more painful to the soul than being struck with a sharpened sword.

O my son, sit with the scholars

Luqmān said to his son, “O my son, sit with the scholars, crowd them at the knees! For indeed, hearts come to life with words of wisdom just like the dead earth comes back to life with the downpour of rain.”
— Luqmān al-Ḥakīm (Mukhtaṣar Iḥyāʼ ʻUlūm ad-Dīn, by Imām al-Ghazzālī )

Overlooking the faults of one's brothers

Overlooking the faults of one's brothers

Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish [i.e. don't punish them]. (Qur 'an 7: 199)


It is not right for you to forsake your brother because of one or two faults that you find in him, especially if the rest of his character is honorable. As we know, perfection for any one of us is unattainable.

Al-Kindi said:
"How is it that you want your friend to possess a specific pattern of characteristics when your soul which is the closest of souls to you - does not always obey your commands? What right do you then have to expect another person's soul to follow your orders?"


Even as he is now, so were you yourselves before till Allah conferred on you His Favors [i.e. guided you to Islam]... (Qur'an 4: 94)


So ascribe not purity to yourselves. He knows best him who fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him. (Qur'an: 53: 32)


It is enough for you that you are satisfied with the main part of your brother's character.

Abu Darda (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
"To reproach your brother for something is better than to lose him altogether."

Some of the wise said:
"We are still not satisfied with ourselves, so how then can we expect ourselves to be satisfied with others."


It has also been said:
"Don't remain aloof from someone who impresses you with a good character and sound judgment because of some minor fault that is surrounded by an ocean of virtues. You will not find, as long as you live, a person so cultivated that he is free from blemish and sin. Contemplate your own self and how it often errs and strays. This kind of introspection makes your demand on others more balanced and makes you more sympathetic to the sinner."


An Arab poet said:
"Who is the one whose character is untainted,
Sufficient worthiness for someone is that his defects can be counted."

It has been said that one's suspicions concerning one's brother should not ruin a good mutual trust that has been tested over time.
Ja'far ibn Muhammad said to his son. "O' my son, whoever among your brothers becomes angry with you three times, and on each occasion speaks only the truth about you, take him as a close friend."

Al-Hasan ibn Wahb said,
"From the rights of mutual love is to forgive and overlook shortcomings."

So overlook their faults with gracious forgiveness. (Qur 'an 15: 85)


Ibn Roomi said:
"These are people and the world, and there is no doing away with dust
That irritates the eyes or spoils the drink.
From the lack of fairness is to expect refinement
In the world, while you yourself are unrefined."

And had it not been for the Grace of Allah and His Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins. (Qur 'an 24: 21)


A poet said:
"You seek a cultivated person who is free from defects, but does the aloe exude a pleasant odor without smoke."

He knows best him who fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him. (Qur'an 53: 32)

To reproach your brother for something

Abu Darda (ra) said:
" To reproach your brother for something is better than to lose him altogether"

My son, do not let your past carelessness make you lose hope

Ibn-ul-Jawzee advised his son (the misguided one):
 "My son, do not let your past carelessness make you lose hope of achieving good, for many people have come back to wakefulness after long sleep."
'Laft al-Kabid ila Naseehah al-Walad'

Whoever seeks a brother without faults..

Fudayl Ibn ‘Iyaad:

“Whoever seeks a brother without faults would never have a brother to be his friend.”

(Rawdatul ‘Uqaalaa, p. 169)

Luqman's advice to his son

Luqman's advice to his son

The Qur’ân contains ten precious advices Luqmân offered his son. Following is the list of this advice offered to Muslim parents, that they may communicate them to their children, family and members of society that they may implement them. If this valuable advise is followed and implemented then we will all be on the straight Path leading to Paradise. Luqmân himself summed up in a few words the way to succeed in this life and on the Day of Judgement.

1. Luqmân warns his son against the greatest injustice man can do. Allâh said that Luqmân said:

"O my son! Join not in worship others with Allâh. Verily, joining others in worship with Allâh is a great injustice indeed." [31:13]

Luqmân calls his son: "My Son". To do so catches his son's attention so that he may listen carefully to his father . Then he calls his son's attention to Tawhid. " Shirk," Luqmân said:" Is a great injustice indeed ".

Therefore, the one who associates others with Allâh in worship does injustice to Allâh, the owner and Creator of the universe. A great injustice is also done to the Mushrik by his own sellf as he subjects himself to Allâh's anger and eternal punishment in Hell.

2. Luqmân reminds his son of the rights of his parents on him,

"and We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and good to his parents. His mother bore him upon weakness and hardship" [31:14]

He describes hardships mothers face bearing children.

"And his weaning is in two years, give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination." [ 31:14]

Luqmân mentions the total dependence of infants on their mothers for two years. Thank Allâh, and then your parents . In not, then the final destination is to Allâh.

"And if they both strive with you to make you join in worship with me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly." [31:15]

Luqmân tells his son that if the parents are Mushrikîn, then do not follow their way: Allâh's right comes first by far. Even so. for as long as the live, treat your Mushrik parents with kindness.

3. Luqmân then describes some of Allâh's Might.

"O my son! If it be equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and tough it be as a rock, or in the Heavens or the earth, Allâh will bring it forth. Verily Allâh is subtle in bringing out that grain, well aware of its place." [31:16]

Allâh's Knowledge is so perfect that the existence of anything, big or small, is acknowledged and controlled by Him. Luqmân tries to impress his son reminding him of Allâh's absolute control over His kingdom. Such might and power must not be challenged or ignored by anyone.

4. A great advice to Luqman's son is to establish regular prayer, on time and with the best possible performance,

"O my son! Offer prayer perfectly." [31:17]

Prayer is the direct connection between a Muslim and his Creator. Parents must take great care to teach and call upon their children to establish prayer.

5. Luqmân advises his son to "enjoin (people) for good, and forbid from evil." [31:17]

If every Muslim observe this duty , then evil and mischief will have no place in Muslim society.

6. After the useful advice he offered his son, Luqmân recommended patience in implementing them, and in all matters of life,

"And bear with patience whatever befalls you. Verily, these are some of the important commandments ordered by Allâh with no exemption." [31:17]

Patience is a righteous act ordered, and rewarded by Allâh.

7. Arrogance is an attribute of Allâh alone and not for man.

The Creator and Owner of the universe is the only One who deserves to be Arrogant. Allâh threatens arrogant people with punishment in Hellfire. Luqmân said:

"And turn not your face away from men with pride." [31:18]

8. To be moderate is a great attitude anyone can possess,

"Nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily Allâh likes not each arrogant boaster." [31:18]

Allâh does not like that man is arrogant and proud of themselves.

9. To be moderate in walking and talking is also one of Luqman's advises to his son, "And be moderate (or show no insolence) in walking." [31:19]

Islâm offers a code of conduct in every aspect of life. Even the way Muslims walk and talk are regulated. Islam offers guidelines in this regard that will produce the best behavior and generate respect.

10. Luqmân reminds his son that being harsh while talking will liken his voice to the braying of a donkey. Shouting does not win hearts, rather , it will offend and alienate people,

"And lower your voice. Verily the harshest of all voices is the voice (braying] of an ass!!" [31:19]

My dear beloved son!

My dear beloved son!

It has been told in the will of Luqman (Peace of Allah be upon him) that he, advising his son in his will, said:

“My son! Do not let the rooster be more intelligent than you are. It shouldn’t happen that he (i.e. the rooster) gets up at the last part of the night to make proclamations [for Tahajjud prayers and remembers his Lord] while you keep sleeping [in a deep sleep of heedlessness, carelessness, and ignorance].”

This reality is made clear in the following verses (of poetry):

“At night, the dove sitting on the branch [of a tree] is calling on [to its Lord]
While I am in a deep sleep

By the Lord of the House of Allah (Ka’aba)! I am a liar! If I had been a true lover [of Allah]
Then the doves would not have won over me in weeping [in the pain of separation from my Beloved (Allah)!

Alas! I do not even wet my eyes [with tears] while claiming to love [my Beloved Lord!]
While the animals keep weeping [in their love for their Creator].”

[Imam Ghazali - Ya bunaya]

"..do not cast a gaze towards me again.”

Muḥammad ibn Sulaymān al-Qurashi says that he was once walking on the road to Yemen when he came across a young boy who was standing on the road. He was singing some couplets in the praise of Allāh. Muḥammad continues, 
“I went up to him and greeted.”
He replied, “I will not return your greeting until you fulfil the right I have upon you.”
I replied, “What right are you talking about?”
He replied, “I follow the teachings of the friend of Allāh, Ibrāhīm (ʻalayhis salām). I do not have breakfast nor supper every day until I walk a mile or two in search of a guest.”
I accepted his invitation for a meal. He was exceedingly pleased and I followed him. We continued walking until we came to a tent made of animal hair. As we walked up to it he called out, “O my sister!”
From inside the tent a young girl replied, “Yes. I am present.”
He exclaimed, “Our guest has arrived.”
She replied, “Can you please wait a while so that I can express gratitude to Allāh for sending a guest to us.” 
She then proceeded to perform two rakʻah of ṣalāh expressing her appreciation to Allāh. The young boy then ushered me towards the tent. I entered and he made me sit down. He took a knife and proceeded to slaughter a goat. As I was sitting in the tent my gaze fell upon the young girl. She was exceedingly beautiful. I continued staring at her stealthily. 
She noticed my glances and said, “Please stop! Do you not know that the Master of Yathrib, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), has mentioned that a lustful gaze is adultery of the eyes. I do not wish to rebuke you, but I would like to teach you some etiquette so that you do not cast a gaze towards me again.” 
When it was time to sleep, my young host and I slept outside while the young girl slept in the tent. But, the entire night I could hear somebody reciting Qurʾān in a melodious and sweet voice. 
When morning dawned upon us I asked the young boy, “Whose voice was that?”
He answered, “That was my sister. She remains awake the entire night.”
I remarked, “Young boy, you should have remained awake the entire night instead of her. Being a woman she is naturally weaker than you.”
He smiled and said, “Do you not know that Allāh has blessed her with doing so and has not granted me the same blessing.”

(Rawḍat al-ʻUqalāʾ)

He made peace between the wolves and the sheep.”"

He made peace between the wolves and the sheep.”"


’al-Fudayl bin ‘Iyad narrated:

‘Abdul-Wahid bin Zayd said: “I asked Allah – the Mighty and Majestic – for three nights in a row to show me my future companion in Paradise in a dream, so in my dream, I heard a caller saying: “O ‘Abdul-Wahid! Your companion in Paradise is Maymunah as-Sawda’.” So, I asked: “And where is she now?” The voice replied: “She is among such-and-such a tribe in Kufah.”

So, I went out to Kufah and asked about her, so I was told: “She is among us, and she takes care of the livestock.” So, I said: “I wish to see her.” I was taken to the place where she was, and found her standing in prayer with a walking stick to support her. She was wearing a wool cloak, with a sign written on it that said: “Not to be bought or sold.” ِAlso, the sheep that she was supposed to be caring for were surrounded by wolves. However, the wolves were not trying to attack the sheep, and the sheep were not afraid of the wolves.

When she saw me, she ended her prayer and said to me: “Go back, Ibn Zayd. Our meeting place is not here. Rather, it is later on (in the Hereafter).”

I said to her: “May Allah have Mercy upon you! Who told you that I am Ibn Zayd?”

She said: “I know that the souls are like a unified army, so the souls that go together are one, and the souls that differ from each other are divided.”

I said to her: “Advise me.”

She said: “Strange! An admonisher who wishes to be admonished? O Ibn Zayd, it has been related to me that a servant is not given anything of this worldly life and wished for more of it, except that Allah ceases to allow that servant to love Him and desire Him, and He exchanges the closeness that he had with Him for distance…” Then she recited:

O admonisher! The accounting has begun * To drive the people away from sin
You forbid others while you are the one who is truly ill. This is indeed a strange evil. If you had rectified yourself beforehand your mistakes, and repented recently, Then – my dear – what you said would have had a position of truth in the heart.
You warn against temptation and excess, while you yourself are in a state of doubt.
I then said to her: “I see these wolves with the sheep, but the sheep do not run away from the wolves, and the wolves do not try to eat the sheep! What is this?”
She said: “This is a sign to you from me: since I made peace between my Master and I, He made peace between the wolves and the sheep.”"

['Sifat as-Safwah’; 2/115]

Whenever a man would see something from his brother that he dislikes

ʻAbdullāh ibn al-Mubārak said,

“Whenever a man would see something from his brother that he dislikes, he would give him orders in private and forbid him in private. Conversely, he would be rewarded for him screening his brother and also rewarded for forbidding evil. As for today, whenever a man sees what he dislikes he angers his brother and unveils his screen.”

(Rawḍat al-ʻUqalāʾ, pg. 197)

How many people have caused misery to their own children

Ibn al-Qayyim:

“How many people have caused misery to their own children, the apples of their eyes, in this world and in the Hereafter, by neglecting them, not disciplining them, encouraging them to follow their whims and desires, thinking that they were honoring them when they were in fact humiliating them, that they were being merciful to them when in fact they were wronging them. They have not benefited from having a child, and they have made the child lose his share in this world and in the Hereafter. If you think about the corruption of children you will see that in most cases it is because of the parents.”

(Tuhfat al-Mawlood, p. 146)

Mu`adh bin Jabal advised his son:

Mu`adh bin Jabal advised his son:

“My son! Pray the prayer of he who is just about to leave and imagine that you might not be able to pray ever again. Know that the believer dies between two good deeds, one that he performed and one that he intended to perform later on.”

(Sifat as Safwah 1/496)

If a father does an evil action in front of his children

Shaikh bin 'Uthaymeen was asked, "If a father does an evil action in front of his children such as smoking, will it be considered an open sin (mujahiran) or a hidden sin because he is inside the house?"
He replied, "This is even WORSE than an open sin because it involves an open sin as well as bad upbringing and the Prophet (SAW) said, 'All the sins of my followers will be forgiven except the muhahireen (those who sin openly or disclose it to others)'

[Mohammed S. Al-Munajed]

A friend is the one

Yahya bin Mu’adh: 

“A friend is the one who you don’t have to remind to remember
you in his supplication, and that you don’t have to flatter and impress, and that you don’t have to apologize to.”

A woman can hide her love

“A woman can hide her love for 40 years, but she cannot hide her hatred for more than an hour.” - Ali ibn Abi Taalib

A man dreams of a perfect wife

"A man dreams of a perfect wife whilst a woman dreams of a perfect husband yet they don't realise that they've been created to complete one another."